Who Am I? If Not An Axe Murderer.

Questions.

We all have questions.

About everything, anything and everyone. From motives to intentions to desires and reasons. We are curious creatures (No, not like the fucking movie 'Beautiful Creatures')

Sometimes, you want to ask other people of their opinions because you want a different answer. Well too bad, cause there won't always be someone by your side just to answer your stupid questions. Oh no no- don't cry ! We can always ask ourselves ! While our answers might not change without time or heavy persuasion, we can always try and rethink the question instead. But enough of that, you're here to read my questions and my answers to them. So let's play 20 questions ! (With myself ! Aw yeah !)

Questions.

1. Am I a likable person?
2. Am I genuinely interested in anything?
3. What are my favorite hobbies?
4. What is my favorite color?
5. Am I egotistical and or a narcissist?
6. What is my favorite culture or race?
7. Do I ever feel guilty?
8. Do I have any regrets?
9. What kind of music do I listen to?
10. Do people enjoy being around me?
11. Do I ever feel stupidly retarded?
12. Am I a crude person?
13. Will I ever find true love?
14. Can I actually fight?
15. Do I enjoy the abuse?
16. Am I smart?
17. Do I ever doubt my friends?
18. Am I emotionally unstable?
19. Do I pity anyone or anything?
20. Do I think this blog matters?

Answers.

1. I would like to think so. That's why I still have friends who talk and go out with me, right? (Or maybe they're being forced are are forcing themselves to) Also I think I am a likable person since I've been approached by random people for the randomest things. This would probably mean I'm a friendly person as well. (lol fuckface)
2. Art, music, games, actually I think I'm genuinely interested in a number of things. Do I have a passion for these things? That's another question.
3. Dumb question, why did I even put it. I have no hobbies, I don't consider gaming a hobby since it's more of a form of release. But let's just say gaming and papercraft are my hobbies. I like to collect comics though.
4. Red.
5. Ha ha ha. Yes. 
6. Japanese, but I've grown interested in Germans lately. I like the Russians too, and let's not forget the Polish girls. Man are they off the charts.
7. Of some of my actions, yes. But rarely do I feel guilty enough to be brought down.
8. Everyone has regrets. But like I say, "You can always look back but never go back" or was it "but don't regret" it was something like that anyway. I haven't said it in a while. Oh? Yes, I have maybe 2 or 3 regrets. Happy? (Cunt.)
9. Just about anything really. I used to be a real Slipknot fan and only listened to metal and stuff like that, but now I'm really one for anything. I've even grown to like SOME slow songs.
10. They better or I'll be breaking some fucking legs- I mean, I don't know. I guess? Why wouldn't they enjoy being around me? I'm sincere, I'm genuine, I'm always willing to help, I'm always (almost always) able to go out on a moment's notice (again, almost), I also have a great sense of humor, I actually have a great sense of everything.
11. Yes.
12. I've been called "crude" before by an Indian couple, fuckingindians. I am in no way being racist towards the entire race of course. I don't know, they apparently just have a grudge against me (probably for being too fucking A-maz-ing). But I don't think I'm crude at all, I think I'm an all rounder. Like a 36-sided dice.
13. I think I might have already. When I look in the mirror, I see my true love. (HA HA, YOU PROBABLY WANTED MORE OUT OF THE ANSWER. DIDN'T YOU ! YOU INVADING LITTLE CU-)
14. People seem to think so, I think so. It's been a while, but really I think "fighting" has become more of a sport than a bragging right.
15. You have no idea.
16. Hard question, an even harder answer. I LIKE to think I'm smart, but more street smart than book smart. But we just have to remember, everyone has knowledge on certain things that other people do not. So I guess in our own sense, we are smart. Oh, what's that logic? I broke you? SHUT THE FUCK UP !
17. This is something I try my best never to do. I am totally against doubting or categorizing my friends. But in a nice way, I do categorize them. Do I judge them? I probably talk about them but I don't really mean it. Do I ever doubt them or our friendship? I've been pushed there before. But no worries Doc, I got it under control.
18. Yes. I want to cry in the cinemas and I think I feel more sorry for animals dying than actual people. Deal with it.
19. There are people I do pity, sad bitches. But no really, there are people I do pity but not in the "I'm feeling sorry for you cause I'm looking down on you" way. We all have problems, not everyone is built to take so much shit. Otherwise, I'd start calling everyone septic tanks. Also I will always pity animals, I don't know, I have a soft side for them.
20. Probably not, I don't really care if anyone reads my shit or not. To be honest, I don't know why the fuck I'm even blogging again. I guess it's just a place to rant? Or maybe a place for me to type and waste time. I mean, it would be pretty dumb to type something on Wordpad for like 2 hours and just save it. It's not like anything I post on my blog is personal anyway. Ha. Ha.

Take Me Out.

So if you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for youI'm just a cross-hair, I'm just a shot away from youAnd if you leave here, you leave me broken, shattered, I lieI'm just a cross-hair, I'm just a shot then we can dieI know I won’t be leaving here with you
I say, "Don't you know?"You say, "You don't know"I say, "Take me out"I say, "You don't show"Don't move time is slowI say, "Take me out"
Well I say, "You don't know"You say, "You don't go"I say, "Take me out"If I move this could dieAnd eyes move this could dieI want you to, to take me out
I know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving hereI know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving here with you
Well I say, "Don't you know?"You say, "You don't know"I say, "Take me out"If I wane this could dieI wait this could dieI want you to take me out
If I move this could dieEyes move this can dieCome on, take me out
I know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving here with you



These are the lyrics to the song "Take Me Out" by the Glasgow-based band Franz Ferdinand. it was released as the second single from their debut album Franz Ferdinand in the United Kingdom on 12 January 2004 and in the United States on 9 February.

Now I've been contemplating the meaning of the song, because songs tell a story besides serving as auditory entertainment. The most popular and logical meaning of the song is actual about two snipers, who have been stalking each other for a lengthy period of time before getting themselves off into situation where there can only be one winner. The other belief is that it's actually about a boy and girl who have mutual feelings for each other, but won't do anything about it. Well, forget all that cause this is MY interpretation of the song.

"So if you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for you"
The first verse "So if you're lonely" is the singer referring to You, which is the girl he has feelings for. She could be a crush, a childhood friend, or that one popular girl that everyone falls in love with. "If you're lonely" could mean she is uninterested or feeling left out with the people she is with.
"You know I'm here waiting for you"The singer is in an obvious spot and not hidden from sight. This could mean that the singer has purposely positioned himself so that he can clearly be seen or he has his sights clear on her. There is a possibility that the singer was actually told to wait at the spot until she returns.


"I'm just a cross-hair, I'm just a shot away from you"
"I'm just a cross-hair", a cross-hair is typically associated with a sniper rifle but it's also used for a magnification scope. If you take the association with the sniper rifle, this could mean that the singer is saying that he is already in her sights. Also being in a sniper's scope means your life is within the shooter's hands. However, if you take it as a magnification scope. This could mean that the singer has been searching and looking for a long time, for that special someone.
"I'm just a shot away from you", means that he is literally in reach or directly in front of her. "A shot away from you" could also mean he's waiting for her to call him over.


"And if you leave here, you leave me broken, shattered, I lie / alive"
The first verse is pretty much self-explanatory. But the following verse has some controversy, plenty has agreed and suggested that he actually says "I lie" but if he said "alive" that would make more sense. I'll do both interpretations anyway.
"You leave me broken, shattered, I lie", this obviously mean that the singer would be physically and mentally broken, spiritually as well probably. But if he says "I lie" at the end, then he could just be playing the fool, possibly trying to guilt trip her or maybe it was all part of his plan.
"You leave me broken, shattered, alive", Same as the above but this time if he says "alive" it would fit the context of the entire verse. That he is literally destroyed by her decision to leave.


"I'm just a cross-hair, I'm just a shot then we can die"
"I'm just a cross-hair", while you would think this would mean the same as I first describe, you could be correct but this is actually the second and last time it is ever sung in the entire song. So there's definitely a double meaning here. First, it could mean that he has realized that he is just going to let decide what to do with him, for better or for worse. i.e. break his heart, go out with him, talk with him. The second meaning is that he finally accepted that he's just a dreamer and that he only looks for the people he definitely has no chance with.
"I'm just a shot then we can die", there's also two meanings to this. First, if he was "shot" as in called over or spoken to, then he will gladly follow her till end's means. The other meaning could be that, she has "shot" him and left him for dead.


"I know I won’t be leaving here with you", this is pretty much as straight-forward as it can be. He doubts whatever happens, he won't be leaving the event or place with her.



"I say, "Don't you know?", he is confronting her whether she knows or acknowledges his love for her.
"You say, "You don't know", she replies with an indirect answer. He doesn't know how she feels about him and may never know.


I say, "Take me out", when he says "Take me out" this is directly saying he want's to leave the place with her or wants her to just let him know how he feels.
I say, "You don't show", directed towards the girl. Meaning that she probably left him hanging when she asked him to meet her or wait for her at the rendezvous point. 


"Don't move time is slow", this could possibly be a reference to the adrenaline or anxiety he is feeling in which his perception of time has slowed down. "Don't move" could either mean making an actual move or he is lovestruck.
"I say, "Take me out", as explain above.
"Well I say, "You don't know", with the saying of "Well" in the beginning of the sentence. He is now trying to confirm whether or not she knows or not.
"You say, "You don't go", another double meaning. It either could mean he doesn't go the distance or is telling him not to go anywhere.
"I say, "Take me out", as explained before. This could also be a direct reply to the verse above, telling her that he will prove her wrong if asked.
"If I move this could die", if he makes a move physically or verbally, the moment, feeling, love and or party could die.
"And eyes move this could die", this basically sounds like they're in a staring competition, where they're trying to figure out if they really mean what they say. Looking away from each other could mean they are not ready or feel an awkwardness between them. This could also mean one of them doesn't actually feel genuine for the other.
"I want you to, to take me out", interestingly this could be said by either the girl or singer, or maybe both at the same time. This means they or one of them have deep feelings for the other and or each other and that they both want to leave the place they're in.
"I know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving hereI know I won't be leaving here(With you)"
The entire paragraph above could be a display of negativity or acceptance that he won't be with her or leave with her. (With you) is bracketed as it is sung under the leading verse and by another person. A direct representation of the girl maybe? Also because it is separated from the leading verse, this could be an unfinished, interrupted, sentence or maybe the singer chose not to listen or badly predicted the sentence she meant.
I know I won't be leaving here with you, acceptance or foolishly accepting what may not be. Her denial.


"Well I say, "Don't you know?""You say, "You don't know""I say, "Take me out"
This could possibly be another confrontation.
"If I wane this could die", when he says "If I wane" he could be saying that if he appears shallow, timid or lacking confidence then the whole situation can die.
"I wait this could die", an obvious one. If he waits too long to say, do or if he waits too long for her to do the same then the situation and momentum will die.
"I want you to take me out", this could be either the singer or the target. The words either one could have been waiting for. Or the singer could've exaggerated or imagined he heard it.


"If I move this could die""Eyes move this can die"
As explained above.
"Come on, take me out", the singer is getting impatient or anxious.


"I know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving here(With you)I know I won't be leaving here(With you)"
As explained above. This is the last paragraph of the song so it could also represent the final acceptance of the situation.

"I know I won't be leaving here with you", this is the verse used to end the song. There's two ways the situation ended. He accepted the fact that he was just being used OR ignored and decided to leave alone. The other one is that, he got too anxious or impatient and decided to just leave.

Falling in love is a one- two- ten- twenty step plan?

Love.

We all go through it.

And most of the time, it fucking blows (Literally). But we're all looking for love.


It doesn't matter if it's a man looking for a woman or a woman looking for man. Sometimes it's even a man looking for a man and a woman looking for a woman. That's cool, I don't judge. Girl on girl action is fun to watch anyway (For the first five minutes at least anyway)

Unlike the goddamn movie "Beautiful Creatures" what we really are, are curious creatures. We ARE curious creatures. What was the last time you've looked at a locked door or a big shiny red button and went "Nah, I ain't pressing that. I don't want to know."
That's right ! Never ! Don't lie to me and don't lie to yourself. We all want to know what's behind the door or what happens when you press the big red button. (Yes, I am a beautiful AND curious creature. So don't worry. I'm sure the movie had some truth in it's title. Or whatever.)


Falling in love is a funny thing and you usually don't notice it (Until you stop falling and instead land face first, breaking both your legs at the same time) It often starts with a thought or a fictional situation created by your sick little head. Then maybe a doucheba- a friend or two will go about saying "Aw, you guys look so cute together." or "You both look close. You must be a couple !" well, these people have to stop reading Sherlock novels, because they're fucking terrible detectives. After the seed of thought has been planted in your brain, your imagination works as a fertilizer for this bastard-child-of-a-seed, slowly it'll grow, tricking your perception of relationship you're in. You start as friends, so why can't you go beyond that? She talked to me today and called me by my name, that must mean she likes me. And I like her too ! Right?

No. That is rarely the case. Over words, it's hard to describe when a girl likes you. But in person, it's easy. The way she walks, talks, the little things she does with her body posture or gesture. The way she flutters her GODDAMN EYELASHES at you, when she plays with her GODDAMN HAIR, these are all- GODDAMN IT !

These are all the little things that we (I mean you, most guys) rarely notice. But once someone starts commenting on how you're a couple and how perfect or cute you both would be together, that's when you start over-thinking the things she does with you.

An example is when you're having lunch, sitting in class or at the movies, and she just sits next to you and slowly she just inches her way towards you. You tend to think that she's asking for some form of physical comfort, e.g. arm around the shoulder, resting her head on your shoulder. When in reality, she's just doing this because she feels comfortable with you. AS FRIENDS. The funny thing about girls (If not, most girls) is that they don't know they're leading you on (Again, most girls). To them it's all like "Oh hey, we're really close friends."

When you've known each other for a long time. I'll use the "Childhood Friend" example. When you've known each other for five, six, or ten years then you'll have no problem with the things she does. Because you know that she's doing it as a friend and you're both cool with it. But when you meet someone that you've only known for a year or two and she starts doing this things, you start exaggerating her intentions (You should. I don't trust anyone.) While I'd say her intentions are genuine this is no longer the case in this time and age. Because "The Game". Never heard of it? Good, you don't want to be in it. And I hope you never need to be a player either cause it'll really fuck with you. Ignorance is bliss ! Remember that young padawan !

Back on track. In this time and age, no matter what your age or when you were born. Probably most of the people you'll meet will be very manipulative, two-faced, backstabbers or flat-out liars. The sadder part about this? You can't outrun them, you instead have to stoop to their level and put on this act to fit in. Don't feel bad about it though, it's just a way to get by. It's better to make a bullet than to be a bullet, right?

But what happens if you fall in love with someone while you're getting by? That'll be a problem cause there's two ways it could play out.
1. She's genuinely a nice girl and is really into you.

OR

2. She's genuinely wants to take your eyeballs and take sips of your life from lush lips.

There's probably a third play out, but I can't remember it right now.



Anyway, "What do I do?" you ask. Well you're in luck ! Cause there are several answers. No matter what she is, a 1 or 2.

1. You can wait out "dat feel"

2. Embrace it.

3. Play with her feelings.

Or just ignore her till you no longer need to pretend around these groups of sociopaths. (This would be option 4)

What's that? What are the consequences you ask?

Hmm, well there will always be consequences and an opposite reaction to every action.

Consequences and possible play-outs.

1. You intend on waiting out that sickening funny feeling in your tummy and you totally ignore all the signs she's giving you. You could potentially miss out on a genuine relationship opportunity or left that certain someone hanging.

2. You instead accepted your fate that you're about to be someone's bitch. This could work two ways, you're literally their bitch and they'll keep taking everything you can offer till there's nothing left (This is where they lastly take your kidneys and wake up in a ice-filled tub with a break-up note.) OR you just made the greatest decision in your life and met your soul mate.

3. I wouldn't recommend this, unless you're playing The Game. Then go ahead, you're going to get shank'd in both the kidneys later down the road anyway. Why not have some fun first before you bleed to death right? Just remember, she could be playing you as well.

4. This basically plays out like the first answer, but you when it's over you no longer need to be this made-up faggot and you can go back to your true friends (If you still have any at this point.)


So I think I'll conclude this post with a bullet point because I have completely and honestly lost myself.

• Don't over-think or exaggerate the things she does or the things you do together.
• While it's nice to indulge in the compliments and comments and others, take it lightly.
• When making a decision, just remember the consequences and reactions.
• If she's playing you for a fool and a tool, and you know it. Stop it, tool.
• Don't jump too deep into The Game. You won't come back from it.
• Not everyone is a bitch, but watch your ass (I know I will.)
• There's nothing wrong with being single. There's also nothing wrong with "Friends with Benefits."

Any tips?

Find a hobby. Find your release. Talk about it. Don't pent it up, cause that shit's blue balling.



I'll close this up in style.

Space Love, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise Fuckship Cumsurprise. It's ONGOING mission: to explore strange new worlds bodies, to seek out new fuck life and new civilizations socialization, to boldly go where no ONE has gone before.