Falling in love is a one- two- ten- twenty step plan?

Love.

We all go through it.

And most of the time, it fucking blows (Literally). But we're all looking for love.


It doesn't matter if it's a man looking for a woman or a woman looking for man. Sometimes it's even a man looking for a man and a woman looking for a woman. That's cool, I don't judge. Girl on girl action is fun to watch anyway (For the first five minutes at least anyway)

Unlike the goddamn movie "Beautiful Creatures" what we really are, are curious creatures. We ARE curious creatures. What was the last time you've looked at a locked door or a big shiny red button and went "Nah, I ain't pressing that. I don't want to know."
That's right ! Never ! Don't lie to me and don't lie to yourself. We all want to know what's behind the door or what happens when you press the big red button. (Yes, I am a beautiful AND curious creature. So don't worry. I'm sure the movie had some truth in it's title. Or whatever.)


Falling in love is a funny thing and you usually don't notice it (Until you stop falling and instead land face first, breaking both your legs at the same time) It often starts with a thought or a fictional situation created by your sick little head. Then maybe a doucheba- a friend or two will go about saying "Aw, you guys look so cute together." or "You both look close. You must be a couple !" well, these people have to stop reading Sherlock novels, because they're fucking terrible detectives. After the seed of thought has been planted in your brain, your imagination works as a fertilizer for this bastard-child-of-a-seed, slowly it'll grow, tricking your perception of relationship you're in. You start as friends, so why can't you go beyond that? She talked to me today and called me by my name, that must mean she likes me. And I like her too ! Right?

No. That is rarely the case. Over words, it's hard to describe when a girl likes you. But in person, it's easy. The way she walks, talks, the little things she does with her body posture or gesture. The way she flutters her GODDAMN EYELASHES at you, when she plays with her GODDAMN HAIR, these are all- GODDAMN IT !

These are all the little things that we (I mean you, most guys) rarely notice. But once someone starts commenting on how you're a couple and how perfect or cute you both would be together, that's when you start over-thinking the things she does with you.

An example is when you're having lunch, sitting in class or at the movies, and she just sits next to you and slowly she just inches her way towards you. You tend to think that she's asking for some form of physical comfort, e.g. arm around the shoulder, resting her head on your shoulder. When in reality, she's just doing this because she feels comfortable with you. AS FRIENDS. The funny thing about girls (If not, most girls) is that they don't know they're leading you on (Again, most girls). To them it's all like "Oh hey, we're really close friends."

When you've known each other for a long time. I'll use the "Childhood Friend" example. When you've known each other for five, six, or ten years then you'll have no problem with the things she does. Because you know that she's doing it as a friend and you're both cool with it. But when you meet someone that you've only known for a year or two and she starts doing this things, you start exaggerating her intentions (You should. I don't trust anyone.) While I'd say her intentions are genuine this is no longer the case in this time and age. Because "The Game". Never heard of it? Good, you don't want to be in it. And I hope you never need to be a player either cause it'll really fuck with you. Ignorance is bliss ! Remember that young padawan !

Back on track. In this time and age, no matter what your age or when you were born. Probably most of the people you'll meet will be very manipulative, two-faced, backstabbers or flat-out liars. The sadder part about this? You can't outrun them, you instead have to stoop to their level and put on this act to fit in. Don't feel bad about it though, it's just a way to get by. It's better to make a bullet than to be a bullet, right?

But what happens if you fall in love with someone while you're getting by? That'll be a problem cause there's two ways it could play out.
1. She's genuinely a nice girl and is really into you.

OR

2. She's genuinely wants to take your eyeballs and take sips of your life from lush lips.

There's probably a third play out, but I can't remember it right now.



Anyway, "What do I do?" you ask. Well you're in luck ! Cause there are several answers. No matter what she is, a 1 or 2.

1. You can wait out "dat feel"

2. Embrace it.

3. Play with her feelings.

Or just ignore her till you no longer need to pretend around these groups of sociopaths. (This would be option 4)

What's that? What are the consequences you ask?

Hmm, well there will always be consequences and an opposite reaction to every action.

Consequences and possible play-outs.

1. You intend on waiting out that sickening funny feeling in your tummy and you totally ignore all the signs she's giving you. You could potentially miss out on a genuine relationship opportunity or left that certain someone hanging.

2. You instead accepted your fate that you're about to be someone's bitch. This could work two ways, you're literally their bitch and they'll keep taking everything you can offer till there's nothing left (This is where they lastly take your kidneys and wake up in a ice-filled tub with a break-up note.) OR you just made the greatest decision in your life and met your soul mate.

3. I wouldn't recommend this, unless you're playing The Game. Then go ahead, you're going to get shank'd in both the kidneys later down the road anyway. Why not have some fun first before you bleed to death right? Just remember, she could be playing you as well.

4. This basically plays out like the first answer, but you when it's over you no longer need to be this made-up faggot and you can go back to your true friends (If you still have any at this point.)


So I think I'll conclude this post with a bullet point because I have completely and honestly lost myself.

• Don't over-think or exaggerate the things she does or the things you do together.
• While it's nice to indulge in the compliments and comments and others, take it lightly.
• When making a decision, just remember the consequences and reactions.
• If she's playing you for a fool and a tool, and you know it. Stop it, tool.
• Don't jump too deep into The Game. You won't come back from it.
• Not everyone is a bitch, but watch your ass (I know I will.)
• There's nothing wrong with being single. There's also nothing wrong with "Friends with Benefits."

Any tips?

Find a hobby. Find your release. Talk about it. Don't pent it up, cause that shit's blue balling.



I'll close this up in style.

Space Love, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise Fuckship Cumsurprise. It's ONGOING mission: to explore strange new worlds bodies, to seek out new fuck life and new civilizations socialization, to boldly go where no ONE has gone before.